Go Ride Your Bike!

Yesterday I went for a bike ride, my first time since I moved into the city! When I lived in Stony Plain I would hop on my bike almost everyday. Bike to kung fu, bike with my doggie, bike just to get out of the house. I found out yesterday how much I miss going out with no purpose whatsoever, not knowing where I am going, not knowing for how long, but just going and feeling great about it. I find when I walk I need to have a purpose otherwise I end up just wondering around, but on a bike it's different for some reason. It also gives me peace. I listen to music, but am not really listening. It makes everything around me quiet so I can hear myself think.

So it got me thinking about happiness and how I perceive it. A few months back I was wondering if I would ever be happy, but now it seems like I was just choosing to focus on the times I felt unhappy over the endless hours spent in the studio where I had no worries, or thoughts of anything else. While I am there the rest of the world is on hold. While I am there the rest of the world is quiet, just like on my bike ride. So then I thought, what makes me happy? Sunday, since John has been gone, has been the hardest day of the week for me because that was the day we usually spent together. We often go for walks downtown to MEC or wander aimlessly talking about Europe. We are both active people and one of us always said, hey let's go outside. I think maybe that has been what is missing in my life the most in the times that I was unhappy.

Activity in my daily life in essential. Yesterday, Sunday, wasn't a typical Sunday as it has been for me. I went out and got active and then came home, made myself a fantastic dinner... Those who only know me at kung fu should know I am an awful cook, but somehow yesterday I felt I did a pretty good job! Then before bed I practiced yoga and read until my eyelids got too heavy to hold open any longer. On days like this where I don't do anything I feel terrible, except when I work out. I have a hard time relaxing and spending a day sitting in the sun, reading a book. It's something I think about doing, but when I go to do it I become too restless and feel I should be accomplishing something. I don't know how to classify this quality either. Is it a weakness because I am unable to appreciate relaxation? Or is this a strength because I am using every second of the day to be productive? Right now it seems like I have to be doing something in order to be happy, so it is frustrating to know other people are sitting around doing nothing and enjoying themselves, while I am running around trying to be busy because I can't sit still. But again, when it comes to productivity, I win. Last night I was bored, so I did some yoga and today I feel great about it.

Since probably age 12 or 13 I have had my mother's voice in my head saying "are you going to eat that? It's going straight to your hips". She used to irritate me more than anything and I would eat that fifth slice of pizza just to say "yes, I am going to eat it, so there" but since I've moved out, I have had nothing but healthy food. So my diet is healthy. I sometimes even like to buy organic foods. (organic yogurt is the best snack I have ever had!) I'd say my diet is pretty good. John is a wonderful cook and he portions things properly which helps me out immensely. It's because of him that I tried tofu and sushi and many other good foods I've been missing out on for so many years.

So it seems I am a little off track, talking about everything from happiness, to fitness, to diet, but they are all interelated. When I am active and have good food in my belly I am happy. Right now I have a goal for May 10, date of the 2nd Annual Tiger Challenge, but also the day John comes back from Europe. I told him that I'm going to be "smokin' hot" by the time he gets back :P So now with 26 days left before he is back I am starting to seriously consider my physical state. Training for the tournament should help me with this, and aside from that I will just have to live right. It's funny how a silly statement like that, made only as a joke, is now motivating me to step it up.

A funny thing just happened. I'm at work... that's where I do the majority of my posting :D The manager just came by and said he bought pizza for all the staff for lunch. The girl beside me did a little happy dance and I said, oh wonderful. But I'm still going to eat the organic pasta with tomato sauce and tofu that I brought from home. She's looking at me like I'm crazy, but I feel better when I make good choices. All our bad habits like eating too much junk food or watching TV for hours on end are due to our choices. At first glance it may seem like you have so much to sacrafice when you give up these things, but really, what good are they doing for you? If something isn't benefitting me in some way I tend to give it up pretty easily. Maybe I have killer willpower, but I think everyone can do this. The key is to start small and stick to it. If you have a daily chocolate bar or generally end the day curled up on the couch with a bag of chips, try going outside for a bit with a few carrots. I guarentee you'll feel better about yourself and the physical results will confirm your good choices.

Something To Look Forward To

I start by saying I'm an optimist. If I've portrayed myself correctly, I would hope that this is stating the obvious. I always have something to look forward to and when I'm not looking forward to something, I'm learning from something that went wrong in the past. I prefer to be looking forward. It's exciting, planning and preparing for the future. That's why every December I start getting excited for the banquet and demonstrations. The kick-a-thon ends and I suddenly have a new goal. I start listening to music and watching my students more closely to spot their hidden talents that I can expose on stage. After that I have a week to plan the kids sleepover for Chinese New Year and then we start preparing for the tournament right away, followed by summer camp and new students in September. It's the same every year, but we just keep getting better.

Following this year's banquet and demonstrations I took out the videos from past years. It is incredible to see how the performances have changed. I for one am not fifteen anymore and you can see improvements in each year. I have higher expectations of my students and hope that they are setting higher goals for themselves as a result.

Why do I bring this up? Every year I get excited about this and we do the same thing, but we do it better. Why not apply this same way of thinking to my everyday training? Right now I am getting excited about Tai Chi and looking forward to the day when I don't have to ask Sifu Robertson what comes next in Part 4. And who knew that doing Tai Chi in my condo with all the lights off, alone on a Tuesday night, while listening to RnB would be enjoyable. I didn't know until yesterday and now I am excited to go home and practice again tonight. I'm looking forward to it.

So instead of looking at practicing as something I should do because I know it will make me stronger and a better martial artist, I am going to get excited about it and make sure that it is something I want to do for myself, just because it feels good. I encourage every one to take this approach, especially with the Tiger Challenge just around the corner. Make practicing something you love to do and set some easy goals so you are always being reinforced. If blackbelt is your only goal you are going a long way without anyone patting you on the back. So build in some minor goals, and not just stripes on your belt either. Make it your goal to get your heels down in Kempo and then celebrate when you accomplish it. You're able to set your mind to something and then accomplish it, and then find something else to be excited about. Life is a lot of fun when you are always excited. It takes an exceptional amount of energy, but it's worth it.

Making A Difference

I have just begun catching up on everyone's blogs, reading months worth of wisdom and inspiration. I have really been missing out! There is so much there that makes me think about the world differently and think that maybe with a new outlook I can make it through the difficult months ahead.

As I was reading the blogs of other black belts, I felt like I needed to write something to inspire others and make changes in the world, but I guess you could say I'm at a loss for words. I don't have the life experience or knowledge to write something that will actually make much of a difference. But then I thought, that's not a true statement. I make a difference everyday.

I am a regular goal setter, for myself and others. If someone is falling behind in one of my classes or not performing as well as they could, I set a goal for them and make sure I stay on them so they can be the best they can be. I use cheesy lines that make people feel good about themselves and at least I'll get a smile out of them even on the worst days. I've made grumpy people giggle and that is making a difference.

I guess I wanted to write this because sometimes, in between thinking we know everything and that the world is against us, young people can feel like nothing we do or say makes a difference. I've been lucky enough to know I make a difference every Tuesday and Thursday for the last seven years, but not everyone has a stage as I do.

The world is not against me, people are actually listening to what I have to say and I'm making a difference... Let's hope they only heard the good things I've said ;) Everyone makes a difference. I'm thinking now that I should have called this post Random Acts of Kindness because that's what the world needs. Holding doors, telling jokes and funny stories, and making people laugh are things that make a difference. Graham was teaching our beginner Black Dragons that it is important to open doors for people... why? Because the girls love it! He gave them a silly reason, which I openly disagreed with him on, but I bet all the boys in the class will be holding doors for years to come. Everyone should be courteous, not just the guys to the girls. Little things like this make the world a better place and you don't have to have life experience or any kind of wisdom to make it happen.

Even just now, as I write this from my work computer, my second last customer was so pleasant and friendly that I'm having a better day and was very friendly to my last customer and now my co-workers. I started out a little grumpy because I am currently under the weather, but one man I have never met and will probably never meet again made a difference and the world is all happy and there was much rejoicing ;) haha. If you don't know where that's from you won't find it funny. Hopefully people get it though.

Overall, I'm writing to say be pleasant and don't worry if you're like me and can't write some inspirational speech to change the world. You're already doing so much everyday. Just be you.

Writing

In the sihing class about a week ago, Master Brinker brought forward the idea of creating a training blog to publicly address strengths and weaknesses, and also provide a means in which to track the 26 000 pushups over the next few months. I was surprised at the hesitation of the class about the idea, but then again I'd be hesitant too.

I don't want my peers to know where I am in my training. If I have a bad day and write down what I'm feeling, I don't want the world to know about it. What if they laugh at me or think I'm less of a martial artist because of it. I would be very uncomfortable with the whole thing... IF I were at a different school.

If you're worried about anything I just said, don't. I know it's not that easy. We're allowed to be self conscious and worry. But look at these people you've been training with for the past few years. Think about the select few that have been chosen to train at our school, and I do mean chosen. We're surrounded by a support group; people that have been through injuries and personal struggles. By sharing your struggles, you're making yourself available to advice that may fix your problem. There may not be an immediate solution, but at least you won't be alone.

One example I know of is Sifu Wetter's speech "What Kung Fu has Done For Me". He wrote about his broken hand and how 26 000 pushups was such a challenge because of it, but he over came it. He made his struggle public and helped others because of it. Another student who broke his arm in a rather humorous situation, knew about Sifu Wetter's injury and asked for help. Other black belts have had problems that have gone unknown until their speech, but when they make them public people understand more and respect the individual for being open and sharing personal details of their life. It's eye opening for those reading or listening in the case of the speech.

We all have difficulties, but you don't get anywhere by hiding them. What good is it if you know your side kick sucks, but you do everything in your power to fake a good one. How will you improve? If I really want to do something I tell someone about it and then I make sure they stay on me. If I'm not accountable for myself, at least someone else will be giving a good boot in the rear to get me back on track.

The reason I am really hoping that people embrace Master Brinker's suggestion is the sharing of ideas. I love that I can come online, not that I get to very often, and write whatever I want and let everyone know what I've been thinking about. So many of my students have brilliant ideas, but they are not sure what the time and place is to tell someone else. If you're passionate about something, come online and write about it. Let me know why I should be living, sleeping, dreaming Kung fu or animals or motor cycles or anything! If you spot an act of kindness, write about it. If it made you smile it will probably make someone else feel good too. If we all feel good, then we'll act good and the cycle continues.

When I look at this I see nothing but positive outcomes. Every year in the black belt speeches, family within the school is brought up. We're all part of it. Silent River Kung Fu is a safe place to share yourself, so go crazy and write to your hearts' desire :)

Sharing

Today I find myself sitting at a desk, bored, working, and waiting for my lunch break. I'm in a back office currently, so I can take any lunch break I want, but really who wants to go to an empty lunch room to sit by themselves? I'm pretty hungry because I didn't eat breakfast this morning as I rushed out, yet I'm still waiting for one of my co-workers I have become particularly close with. I could go eat now, but I'll wait.

I want to recommend to everyone at this point to go and see the movie "Into The Wild" or read the book if you have more time. Books are generally better than the movies anyways. I saw it months ago and the message has stuck with me since then. I won't ruin the ending. I'm pretty sure most people know how it ends anyways, considering it's based on a true story. The part that hits home with me are his last written words. "Happiness is shared." What good is being the happiest person on earth if you have no one to share it with? What good is knowing a martial art if you can't teach and pass it down to others?

My biggest frustration right now is the thought of taking a vacation somewhere hot and sunny to make memories that I can only talk about, but not experience with someone I love. For some people having dreams and accomplishing them is good enough, and that used to be my focus. I feel I have changed substantially in the past few months in that going and being who I always thought I'd be, and getting my dream career isn't good enough. I stopped in the other day to see some girls I used to work with. One asked how school was going and what my plans are for the upcoming year. Six months ago I would have explained a detailed plan with where and what and who I'd be, but all I replied is who knows where life will take me. She asked where the Danielle she knew had run away to, and all I said was "I met a boy" and we laughed. I've realised that it doesn't matter what you're doing. If you have someone to love and hold and laugh with you'll get where you're supposed to go. No need to plan your entire life like I used to. Life will happen whether you want it to or not. All you can do is appreciate everyday you're given and hope the next one is just as good.

A friend is going to France to work, from April through October, leaving me behind for those seven months, which I am not looking forward to. He explained to me that it's just something he has to do. He asked me if I had ever been completely at peace with myself and everything around me, and thinking back I really can't picture a time when I wasn't planning out my future. With so much planning, who has time for peace. He said when he's at camp (he teaches wilderness camps i.e. kayaking, mountain climbing, etc - hardcore outdoorsy things) everyday is just that day. You don't worry about tomorrow and you don't reflect on yesterday until it's all over because you're so in the moment. He tells me being there is the happiest he's ever been and he knows it won't be the same, because nothing ever is, but when you're living in the moment like that, how can you not be happy. I'm heartbroken because I can't share that with him. I'll make my own memories and expereinces in the time he's away, waiting for him to come back to me, if he does, but it won't be as good as a shared experience.

Most people can probably relate. Whether you're sharing success with a classmate, or a significant other, or just going to coffee with friends; it's not the same on your own. Enjoy the people you have in your life and always be willing to make time for the people who are important to you. Wait a little longer, even when you feel like your stomach is eating itself, because chances are it'll pay off.

Waiting

In the last month I have made some shocking discoveries about my life and probably so many others that don't realise they are falling into the same hole I put myself in. You need some background details.

I have always had a plan. I can think as far back as grade six when selecting options in junior high, then selecting high school courses that would indefinitely determine the rest of your life because of what you would take in university. Then going to University, first taking Education because that's what I'm good at. The plan was to spend four years getting my degree meanwhile developing stunt skills so I'd be prepared to go to stunt school in Los Angeles. In this time I would also collect enough money to pay for stunt school and be able to live in sunny California for some time, making contacts and becoming a moviestar overnight. If that didn't work I'd just come home and be a teacher; I'd have a degree after all. So after one year, education is not right for me. Being locked in a classroom with the same group of kids all day. I'd rather be out playing games, kicking a soccerball around, so why am I in education. I don't want that kind of structure. So I change my degree to Physical Education. No teaching. Just anatomy and physiology and a lot of sports and biomechanics. It's making me stronger so obviously it's helping me get closer to my dreams on the big screen. Oh and I bought a condo to rent out, thereby making money for LA, and I'll sell it before I leave in four more years (new degree) to pay for stunt school. Problem solved. Except I'm not going to rent it out anymore. I want to live there. So now I've got to find a better job to pay a mortgage.

I jumped at the opportunity to take a bartending course. - got a job at a bar and make lots of money. Hurray for me. But in these past years of preparing to go to LA and live my dreams I have done nothing to prepare at all. And this is where my shocking discovery comes in. Why am I waiting for this big thing to happen and watching as my life passes me by, living for the future. People say live in the present, but this hit me really hard; I don't think I ever have. I'm not developing stunt skills or making things happen. I've been waiting for the time to be right for me to go to LA and then what?? Take a nice little vacation and then come back here and get a desk job? I don't think I could live with myself. This may sound weird or even arrogant, but I don't mean it in that way at all. I have always felt like I am something special and that I have to be something that is not average. Not like I have to be better than anyone else, but I have to be different. I have always known this for some reason and I think this, but have never done anything about it. Even when I think I am on my way, I am really just going through the motions, waiting for something else to happen. I've had this feeling while at concerts or watching a movie in the theatre. I'm just waiting for the next song or the next scene so I can have more, but it's not more at all. You can have everything you thought you wanted and you're never happy.

Why am I not enjoying every single day of my life and living like it was my last? Do we really need people that we love to be gone before we realise what a gift we've been given. If you don't like your job, quit it. If you want to lose weight, then do something about it. If you want to be a stunt person and live that life, then start living it now. I have to tell myself this. If you want to learn to surf, move to Australia for six months and learn to love life. Even now, I'm sitting in my condo. I worked all day and I have to go to work in a few hours again. I can't help but feel like I'm on the same path I've been for my entire life, waiting for summer to come so I can travel. I like my job, but I've been happier. I think of a few really good days I have had when nothing bothered me and I felt like if this lasted forever I wouldn't mind at all.

Acting jobs. A few hours of doing the same scene over and over and waiting in a frozen heatless van wearing shorts because it's supposed to be a summer night, not November in Edmonton. Making friends you'll never see again and memories you'll never forget. Meeting Josh for the first time. Sitting around the next day, recovering from the guitar hero fest and starting it all again. Dinner with John. Walking through the river valley on a snowy night. Entertaining at the party. Being Miss Authority. Dodgeball. Hot showers. Choreography. Kung Fu Camp. Movie Voiceovers. The perfect moment you thought you'd say it all, but didn't. The perfect kiss.

Living in the moment in these very few moments.

I've always felt like my life is going by so quickly. I don't know how to fix this, but I know I have to somehow.

Teaching

As teaching has been such an influential step in my training I saw it fit to write my first blog about it. So many people approach teaching in the wrong way. Running a class can be a lot of fun, even when your material is not, but most people make the mistake of overthinking and overexplaining. For some teaching comes naturally. It truly is a blessing to have the gift to share your knowledge so easily, but for those of you who have more difficulty, I am going to offer some advice to help you get on the right track. I'm not an expert, but I've seen and made a lot of mistakes. Here's some food for thought.

"Less Yack More Smack"

The biggest mistake which I have already touched on is overexplaining. You don't have to talk about every detail when showing someone a technique. In fact, the less you talk the better off you are. Specially when teaching children, if your instructions take up more than five words you'll lose them instantly and would be better off running a fun class that will want them coming back for more, and then correct their mistakes at a later date. Some of the best classes I feel I have ever taught included very little "teaching". I like to show a technique once or twice and then let my students figure it out. I let my students answer their own questions and correct themselves. I walk up to a student and ask them what they are doing wrong. They may give me a list of things they need to fix about their roundhouse when I was only specifically looking at their foot position. This develops the students eye for detail and gives them the tools they need to succeed instead of having them being dependent on me. My students have all the answers and all the skills; It's just up to me to expose their talents and make them the best they can be.

"Monkey See, Monkey Do"

People, adults included, are always working to improve themselves. They see something they like and yearn to acheive it. This said, be a role model even when you're not in teaching mode. (Yes, you at the back of the class who came to help, but now are not doing anything but socializing and taking up training space. You may think you are not needed because we have black belts leading the class and there's nothing for you to do. Wrong. Get up and work out at the back or even better, beside someone.) Even outside of class, be an intense individual. People will pick up on it and chances are, what your students see when you're not looking will make a bigger impact than the show you put on in front of the class. If you want to inspire your students to attack their level of personal fitness, get down there and do the pushups with them. Scream the loudest and demand intensity from them. Not by telling them they need to be intense. This has never worked in my experience. If you want intensity, teach with intensity and give them no other choice but to follow suit. If you want your students to practise their forms or the choreography you taught them last class *wink wink* *nudge nudge* make sure you're practising. Start doing Kempo before class starts. You'll always have at least one student watch you and come over to ask a question. If I start doing forms before the kids' classes, I guarentee someone will come over and want to practise with me and if I practise with one, i have to practise with everyone. Point is, don't sit around thinking about ways to motivate your students. Work your hardest and be a good person. Lead. That is often enough.

"It's The Little Things That Count"

I walk up to a student, put my hand on his shoulder and say "you know your roundhouse looks really good. Just pivot that foot a little more and you'll almost have a perfect kick". The student smiles and puts a little more effort into his next kick. What was the original kick like? Doesn't matter. Will the following kicks show improvement because of the extra effort? Definitely. I've watched the most awkward people turn into brilliant martial artists because of the effort they put in. A little encouragement here and there can make the biggest difference. It's important to be able to read your students. If someone had a bad day at school and you can tell they are down on themselves, give them a kind word. Do some kicks beside them and let them know that you value their attendance in class. (I write mostly about teaching children because that's what I do best, but also if you can teach children, teaching adults is a cakewalk. It doesn't work the other way around.) I've sat through teaching seminars and one of the main points I always remember is how to deal with students that have been missing class a lot. If you single a child out for being absent, they are alienated and are not going to want to come back after missing another class because of the spectacle you make of it. Instead I make a point of quietly letting them know that it's good to see them in class again, either after class or as I walk by during class if it's appropriate. Little things like this make a difference. It's compassion and empathy that make a good teacher.

These are just some ideas I've been wanting to share for a while now. A lot of people have obscured views on teaching. Hopefully everyone will relax and not talk so much when at the front of the class. There's only so much explaining you can do before everyone gets bored and loses intensity. I've always been the type to "just do it" and I feel my body knows better than my brain. I hope that people start to adapt this attitude so they react instead of thinking more often.

And as an after thought... Why do people like freesparring?