Go Ride Your Bike!

Yesterday I went for a bike ride, my first time since I moved into the city! When I lived in Stony Plain I would hop on my bike almost everyday. Bike to kung fu, bike with my doggie, bike just to get out of the house. I found out yesterday how much I miss going out with no purpose whatsoever, not knowing where I am going, not knowing for how long, but just going and feeling great about it. I find when I walk I need to have a purpose otherwise I end up just wondering around, but on a bike it's different for some reason. It also gives me peace. I listen to music, but am not really listening. It makes everything around me quiet so I can hear myself think.

So it got me thinking about happiness and how I perceive it. A few months back I was wondering if I would ever be happy, but now it seems like I was just choosing to focus on the times I felt unhappy over the endless hours spent in the studio where I had no worries, or thoughts of anything else. While I am there the rest of the world is on hold. While I am there the rest of the world is quiet, just like on my bike ride. So then I thought, what makes me happy? Sunday, since John has been gone, has been the hardest day of the week for me because that was the day we usually spent together. We often go for walks downtown to MEC or wander aimlessly talking about Europe. We are both active people and one of us always said, hey let's go outside. I think maybe that has been what is missing in my life the most in the times that I was unhappy.

Activity in my daily life in essential. Yesterday, Sunday, wasn't a typical Sunday as it has been for me. I went out and got active and then came home, made myself a fantastic dinner... Those who only know me at kung fu should know I am an awful cook, but somehow yesterday I felt I did a pretty good job! Then before bed I practiced yoga and read until my eyelids got too heavy to hold open any longer. On days like this where I don't do anything I feel terrible, except when I work out. I have a hard time relaxing and spending a day sitting in the sun, reading a book. It's something I think about doing, but when I go to do it I become too restless and feel I should be accomplishing something. I don't know how to classify this quality either. Is it a weakness because I am unable to appreciate relaxation? Or is this a strength because I am using every second of the day to be productive? Right now it seems like I have to be doing something in order to be happy, so it is frustrating to know other people are sitting around doing nothing and enjoying themselves, while I am running around trying to be busy because I can't sit still. But again, when it comes to productivity, I win. Last night I was bored, so I did some yoga and today I feel great about it.

Since probably age 12 or 13 I have had my mother's voice in my head saying "are you going to eat that? It's going straight to your hips". She used to irritate me more than anything and I would eat that fifth slice of pizza just to say "yes, I am going to eat it, so there" but since I've moved out, I have had nothing but healthy food. So my diet is healthy. I sometimes even like to buy organic foods. (organic yogurt is the best snack I have ever had!) I'd say my diet is pretty good. John is a wonderful cook and he portions things properly which helps me out immensely. It's because of him that I tried tofu and sushi and many other good foods I've been missing out on for so many years.

So it seems I am a little off track, talking about everything from happiness, to fitness, to diet, but they are all interelated. When I am active and have good food in my belly I am happy. Right now I have a goal for May 10, date of the 2nd Annual Tiger Challenge, but also the day John comes back from Europe. I told him that I'm going to be "smokin' hot" by the time he gets back :P So now with 26 days left before he is back I am starting to seriously consider my physical state. Training for the tournament should help me with this, and aside from that I will just have to live right. It's funny how a silly statement like that, made only as a joke, is now motivating me to step it up.

A funny thing just happened. I'm at work... that's where I do the majority of my posting :D The manager just came by and said he bought pizza for all the staff for lunch. The girl beside me did a little happy dance and I said, oh wonderful. But I'm still going to eat the organic pasta with tomato sauce and tofu that I brought from home. She's looking at me like I'm crazy, but I feel better when I make good choices. All our bad habits like eating too much junk food or watching TV for hours on end are due to our choices. At first glance it may seem like you have so much to sacrafice when you give up these things, but really, what good are they doing for you? If something isn't benefitting me in some way I tend to give it up pretty easily. Maybe I have killer willpower, but I think everyone can do this. The key is to start small and stick to it. If you have a daily chocolate bar or generally end the day curled up on the couch with a bag of chips, try going outside for a bit with a few carrots. I guarentee you'll feel better about yourself and the physical results will confirm your good choices.